What parents, others need to do
By Balwant Sanghera
“SURREY DRUGS COPS CAP GUN PLAY”
(The Province newspaper, August 9, 2016)
Doesn’t this front-page headline in one of Vancouver’s major daily newspapers take you back to the early 1990s when our South Asian community was losing its young men to drugs, gangs and violence on a fairly regular basis?
The spate of violence in Metro Vancouver in general and Surrey in particular during the past few months has sent shockwaves throughout the community. It has caused a lot of concern to every law-abiding citizen. This time around, it is not only the South Asian community but also the community at large that has been severely impacted by these developments.
Even one life lost is one too many.
The dynamics seem to have changed now. The 50-plus shootings in Surrey during the past few months have involved a much younger age group. Most of the players range in age from their late teens to early 20s.
For example, the six youths arrested recently by police in Surrey (see story on this page) for involvement in conflict over drugs among low-level members of two groups of dial-a-dopers are in the 16 to 24 age range.
To its credit, the police at all levels has been doing a commendable job in preventing this carnage on our streets. Similarly, on its part, the South Asian community has been actively engaged in preventing our youth from going on the wrong path.
Take for example, the South Asian Community Coalition Against Youth Violence (SACCAYV). Along with various other organizations and the South Asian media, this organization has been working hard for the past several years in keeping our youth on the right track.
In this regard, SACCAYV has produced a very useful booklet entitled Understanding Youth and Gangs. It is free. The booklet is in both English and Punjabi. It is the result of a collaborative effort between various police forces, individuals, agencies and the provincial government.
Initially, 50,000 copies of the booklet were printed. This resource booklet is so popular that the Coordinated Special Enforcement Unit-BC (CFSEU-BC) has now printed it in several other languages as well. Parents, youths and others interested are encouraged to obtain a copy of this booklet from their nearest gurdwara or the CFSEU-BC.
Whether it is prevention, intervention or enforcement, to its credit, the South Asian community has always been in the forefront. It is a challenge for all of us. Nevertheless, we need to continue to work hard in helping our young people and in keeping our communities safe.
It is rather unfortunate that as the headline above indicates, a number of young people in their late teens get easily drawn into certain undesirable activities. This indeed is very worrisome. It calls for even greater efforts by our community to keep such vulnerable youth from joining the wrong crowd. The best way to do this is through education, awareness and prevention.
Prevention must start at a very early age. The sooner, the better. As parents and caregivers, we must make every effort in staying connected with our children. We need to empower them by keeping them safe and well informed. Boosting their self-esteem is bound to go a long way in making our children productive and valuable members of society.
There is no doubt that adolescence is a very challenging phase in a child’s life. However, by following some very simple rules, we can have a good relationship with them.
First and foremost, we need to earn our children’s respect rather than demanding it. This can be best accomplished by showing them respect. It works both ways. In order to get respect, you have to show respect. Move from control to connection.
Second, we must become good listeners. Always pay full attention to your child when he/she is trying to say something to you. Hear them out without being judgmental. Listening is a great skill and an excellent asset. Also, keeping an open mind is very helpful in this regard. Rather than prejudging we should be open and give our children an opportunity to say their piece.
Third, we should always keep our cool. A peaceful mind generates power. By staying calm even under very stressful situations, we are being good role models for our children. Have a sense of humor. Humor works wonders even in some of the most difficult circumstances. It helps in diffusing potentially explosive situations.
Finally, be an active participant in your child’s life. Whether it is their school, sports or other activities, be there to support them. Stay connected. Let them know that you love them and are there for them at all times.
Our children are our greatest resource and asset. Consequently, we must make every effort in helping them become proud members of our community and the society as a whole.
Balwant Sanghera is a community activist and retired school psychologist. He is chairperson of the South Asian Community Coalition Against Youth Violence.
