A Trip To A Funeral Home To Pay Respects To Sardarni Bibi Rajpal Kaur Cheema!
By Zile Singh
Ambassador(Retd.)
The Day is September 9. The Fall Season has started. Leaves of different shapes and sizes have started to say goodbye to the trees and are ready to fall asleep forever in the lap of Mother Earth. This morning witnessed a wave of drizzle as well. A respite for the BC Forest fires but a little discomfort for the mourners to reach the destination. A passage turning left and right, crossing under and over the bridges, passing through the Tunnel is mandatory on the Highway Route 99. This passage is going to the Funeral of a known for some and a loved one for others . While on the route, the thought process in the mind is quite awakening and spiritual in the sense that the Life is not so smooth and straight. There are frequencies of high and low, glee and sorrow, profit and loss, revealing a universal truth, “ nothing is permanent” – including life
Life is a game on the ground of time. The game begins with the birth and ends with the death. In between, we the players score our goals, runs, pars or points in terms of our achievements and failures. After the time is over, the referee announces the result in favour of one team and against the other. Every individual player also analyses and evaluates his performance. Good and bad performance depends upon two main factors – the outside influences and individual’s own efforts. Different do’s and don’ts make life meaningful. Life is a waste if it is not lived well and enjoyed. One of the detrimental factors in the way of enjoying life is the fear of Death. Spirituality and logic speak thus, “ Do not be afraid of death, be afraid of an unlived life. Be afraid of your bad deeds. You do not have to live forever, you just have to live and …leave.”
Now, as you enters the Funeral Hall you notice the flowers, the picture of the deceased, a soft spiritual music and faces of friends and family sharing the sorrow of losing. When you look into the Casket, you come face to face with yourself. Imagine, as if this is your funeral, – some years from now. All these people from far and near have come to express their love and appreciation for your life and to pray for your Rest In Peace. Imagination is visualization of your body as ‘suksham sharir’ . In Vedic scriptures there is a mention of seven layers of human body. The first layer is called the ‘sthula sharir’ – the physical body( gross) and the second is ‘suksham sharir’ – non-physical body (subtle). Meditation practices explain in detail about these different types of body layers. The Physical and non-physical bodies can also be called the Matter and Mind respectively. Mind is nonphysical (subtle) and has the faculty of Imagination. You have lived with your physical body so closely forever. If an object is too near to your eyes, it is not possible to see and understand it properly and clearly. Therefore it is necessary to create a distance between your body and mind. At a funeral site it is easy to understand this distance. The physical body is in the Casket and the non-physical, mind has vanished.
As the programme proceeds, there are speakers from the family or the extended family, your friend, your co-worker and one from the community’s religious organization, i.e. Gurudwara, temple or church. Now you have to think with full concentration leaving aside all the fan-fare outside. What would you expect from the speakers to tell the mourners about how you lived your life? What type of husband, wife, father, mother, son, daughter, brother, aunt, cousin, friend, colleague or a religious person were you? What was your contribution in their lives so that they remember you or take an example from your well lived life. Naturally, you would not like that you be remembered as an unfair, hostile, unworthy and a good-for-nothing person.
The place helps you to realize and feel your suksham sharir which in turn can guide and encourage you to transform your day to day behaviour towards your fellow beings. You can realize the definition of life. It might be very different from what you have thought so far. Maybe, power, fame, money and other achievements you strive for day in and day out throughout your life are not of any use at the end. It makes you realize, – “Begin with the End in Mind”. Your well lived life will define your death. Put your ladder against the right wall, – the wall of life. Ladder against the wrong wall will mislead you. How beautifully Norman Cousins said about death., “ Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.”
The tide recedes but leaves behind, bright seashells on the sand.
The sun goes down, but gentle warmth still lingers on the land.
The music stops, and yet it echoes on the sweet refrains.
For every joy that passes, something beautiful remains. – Anonymous
The Five Rivers Delta represents the Punjab. The Funeral was of Sardarni Bibi Rajpal Kaur Cheema, a legend from a family of freedom fighters, senior ranks in the defence, civil, politics and social services – mother of Satbir Cheema, CEO of Progressive Inter Cultural Society ( PICS ) and Aunt of Dr. Gulzar Cheema, a Physician and former Provincial Minister of British Columbia.
