European Women  Challenge American Concepts of Women Liberation

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By Dr. Sawraj Singh

We are watching an open confrontation between American and European women on the issue of women liberation. Me too movement primarily started by Hollywood actresses, mainly in America against sexual harassment. I often call American individualistic culture as “I, Me and Mine” culture. Therefore, I take “Me” as symbolic of America. “Et tu, Brute?” are the last words spoken by Julius Caesar in Shakespeare’s play. These words meaning “and you,” can symbolize Europe. This confrontation can also be called Me too versus Et tu. I lived in America for about forty years and have been to Europe a few times. I have also talked to many Europeans and to people who have lived in Europe for long time. I feel that I have a fairly good idea about the differences between the European and the American views on sexuality.

I first went to America in the year 1971 in Chicago. An Indian who was living in America for sometime invited me to his apartment. There were two other Indians who had recently come to America, one from Germany and the other from Kenya. Both of them were sharing their frustration about not having much luck in dating American girls. The young man who was in Germany did a fellowship in ophthalmology in one of the German Universities. He said that when he first went to Germany, one day he attended a party of young people. A girl colleague came to him and said that she would like to have sex with him. Contrasting this experience with America, he said that after a big effort, he found a date. He said that when he tried to touch the American girl, she snapped at him and said that she did not expect this kind of behavior on the first date and walked out.

The young man from Africa was working as a manager in a travel agency in Nairobi, Kenya. Several African girls worked under him. He said that he had no difficulty in picking a girl to date over the weekend. As the weekend approached, girls would start showing interest in going out with him over the weekend. He said that an opportunity came for him to move to America. He said that he was extremely frustrated with American girls. He said that he felt since he was going to an advanced western country from a third world country, his love life will be great. However, he was shocked to find that when it came to sex, American women were much more conservative than women in a third world African country.

However, it was a different story when there was a possibility that a nurse could hook a doctor for marriage. A Pakistani Punjabi colleague would proudly show me expensive gifts he received on the top of good sex from the nurses. After all this was an investment for a good future.

Next year, I started my residency in surgery in Philadelphia. I had a colleague who was from Denmark. His wife was a highly-educated woman. She had done her PhD in psychology. She shared her impressions about the differences between American and European attitudes on sexuality. She said that European women’s attitude is more natural, whereas American women’s attitude is more unnatural and complicated. Both men and women are raised in America with the notion that the primary drive in life should be to advance your career so that you can make more money. For women, sex is something which can be used to achieve that goal; while for men, it is your reward after you have achieved your goal.

These attitudes are a perfect recipe for complicated and unnatural relationships between men and women. They also set you up for sexual harassment and exploitation. Men with money and power want their reward in the form of sexual favors from women. Women, on the other hand, are willing to trade those favors for advancing their careers. However, when women have achieved their goal, then they call it a foul. To make things more complicated, some women choose to disclose this at a time when it is safe and also gets them publicity or other material or monetary rewards. Sometimes, this chosen time can be several years or even decades after the event. Many famous French actresses like Catherine Deneuve and Brigitte Bardot have come out against the Me too movement. They only represent a much deeper resentment toward America in Europe.

Many Europeans feel that America has betrayed European civilization. France has always led in this notion. However, it is present all over Europe. I went to Europe in 1972 for the first time. I saw this feeling in many European countries. You could walk to any bookstore in France and the most popular theme for the books seemed to be anti-Americanism. Years later, President Clinton’s daughter Chelsea experienced this feeling in Oxford University, which is considered a very conservative University in England, the closest American ally in Europe, to a point that she had to quit her studies there.

Julius Caesar said, “Et tu, Brute?” because he felt betrayed by Brutus, whom he had raised as his son, but had joined the conspirators. Similarly, Europe considers America as an offshoot of European civilization, but which has betrayed Europe, “Et tu, America?” Many Europeans have expressed this frustration in different ways. I feel the best expression of this resentment was done by Oscar Wilde when he said, “America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between.”

I feel that it is not just a match between American women and French women, but it represents a much deeper phenomenon. There is going to be a major realignment of forces in the world. Europe, led by France and Germany, is going to move away from America and tilt towards a resurgent Russia. The unipolar world order is moving toward a multipolar world order. Europe will become an independent power center in this new world order.  Me too movement may end up achieving something which it had not intended.

Dr. Sawraj Singh, MD F.I.C.S. is the Chairman of the Washington State Network for Human Rights and Chairman of the Central Washington Coalition for Social Justice. He can be reached at [email protected].