He that is ill to himself will be good to nobody. Look after Number One. Number One refers to Oneself. Self-restraint is the ability to control oneself in terms of having mastery over one’s illicit desires and appetites. Self-restraint is not total abstinence; it is about finding the right balance. Guru Nanak, therefore, chose a householder’s life than to be a recluse, an escapist and a parasite on society. During the last twenty years of his life he engaged himself in farming, conducting sermons and organizing langars for hungry and the needy on a daily basis. He preached that self-restraint, patience, knowledge and intellect should go hand in hand. A goldsmith needs all the three tools – furnace, hammer and anvil – to purify and to mould the gold according to the required shape and design. Self-restraint sometimes is also called self-regulation and self-discipline. It is correlated with success in all walks of life, whether it is a student, a householder or the life of a seeker of truth. In Mahabharta, we all see Lord Krishna holding the rein of five horses sitting on the chariot. This rein is nothing but a method to control the mind running in different directions. If the horses are let loose, they will run in different directions. Similarly, if the mind is not controlled, it will run in infinite directions. It will not reach its designated destination. It will wander aimlessly. Therefore, it is necessary to restrain the mind and body with consciousness. In Raas Lila also we need Radha as ‘tan-body’; Rukmani as ‘man –mind’ and Krishna as ‘gyan – consciousness – intellect. In other words, we call it –body, mind and soul. The Raas Lila of life is incomplete without these three elements. The Geeta, as also the Gurbani teach that body, mind and soul should work hand-in-hand. Without the coordination of these three elements, the pain will stand and stare at the door of life. The following lines explain it.
Ahsas ka manjar, waqt ka khanjar, jahan ke andar, dard to dastak deta hai.
Radha ho tan, Rukmani ho man, Na ho Krishan; Dard to dastak deta hai .
The first requirement to attain self-restraint is to choose a path, a direction and a goal using our knowledge and intellect patiently. When the path, direction and the goal are in complete harmony, one attains self-restraint and balance. Only that person who does not walk at all requires no restraint. To walk on the right path each step has to be taken with full awareness and understanding. We see in life that the same steps can go to commit a murder and the same steps can go to save a life in danger. Guru Nanak emphasized the importance of Ek Omkar, i.e., concentration, Simran or Jap of only One and the only One Reality. You cannot reach your goal or destination if you run in several directions and on several paths simultaneously. You have to develop an ‘integrity’. In Nanak’s message, integrity means ‘aakhand’, that is ‘undivided’ – wholeheartedness, without any break. To be successful, your attention must be undivided. Even in normal mundane life, we should remember the famous advice, ‘United we stand, divided we fall.’ Similarly, in the spiritual life, the unity of body, mind and soul is necessary. There are several paths which can lead you astray. Therefore, you need only One strong memory – uninterrupted remembrance of Ek Omkar to reach the ultimate goal of life. Make One of your body, mind and soul. Guru Nanak said, “Utter what you think and feel and also act upon it.” He was against double minds and double faces. When body, mind and soul are in unison, ecstasy, wonder and bliss happen. This is called ‘Bhakti’.
Guru Nanak says that self-restraint is not an easy task. It is like a fire. As the fire of the furnace purifies the gold, similarly the fire of pain and suffering or self-restraint purifies our daily life. To practice self- restraint with full awareness and patience, the suffering and pain become stepping stones on the spiritual path. To realize God is not the work of impatient persons. It requires thorough and undiluted patience. A seed has to stay underground before it sprouts and becomes a big tree.
Nanak says, “Make your intellect as an anvil and the knowledge as a hammer.” Knowledge’s each blow will make the anvil shine and a day comes when the hammer breaks with repeated strikes but the anvil stays intact with more shine and brightness. The hammer, your superfluous knowledge acquired from others, will break and your intellect will remain. Nanak says that do not run away from life. Make life an adventure. Be a witness to the ups and downs in life. Self-restraint, in the form of a struggle, is necessary for the flowering and fruition of life.
Mr. Zile Singh is much respected Link Columnist, writer, a Vipassana Meditator and has a Post-Graduate Diploma in Human Rights. He can be reached at [email protected]
