Are Some Indo-Canadian Men Losing Their Humaneness?

August 13, 2011

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Violent Indo-Canadian men need to seek professional help in addressing interpersonal relationship problems with their spouses, rather than to resort to violence. Theyneed to remember who gave birth to them, and where is the love, compassion and caringfor women who brought forth life. They also need to realize that some of these wives are,or would be, mothers of their children.

By Dr. J. Das

The United Nations Universal Declaration of Human Rights has thirty articles coveringthe rights of all people everywhere: (http://www.un.org/en/documents/udhr/#atop).Article 3 states: “Everyone has the right to life, liberty and security of person.” AndArticle 5 states: “No one shall be subjected to torture or to cruel, inhuman or degradingtreatment or punishment.”

Canada upholds these rights, as should every citizen.In the past few years there have been several murders and violence against Indo-Canadian women in the lower mainland by their husbands. But these are only the extremecases of violence against women of which is in the forefront. Other instances of violenceby husbands, family members or other men here, or in India, include honour killing, rape,stabbing, throwing acid in the faces of women, beatings, subjugation, marrying andtaking the dowry, sometimes impregnating the innocent women, then abandoning them toa life of shame and humiliation.

If you look at the web page,<http://www.angelfire.com/space2/light11/women/domestic1.html> and scroll downto Canada, you will find many instances of violence mentioned. Here you will also notecrimes against women in India: “One crime against women every three minutes, ___One rapeevery 29 minutes, ___One dowry death case every 77 minutes, ___One case of cruelty byhusband and relatives every nine minutes.” Source: National Crime Records Bureau.

The reason that I chose the above title of this article is that Indo-Canadian men comefrom a great country with some of the highest philosophy in the world. India is alsoknown as the “Cradle of Religions” where every shade of religious thought was alreadyin existence before other world religions arose. Non-violence is an integral part of theIndian ethos, and the first principle in Yoga philosophy. Guru Kabir and Guru Nanakemphasized non-violence, as did many great world teachers. How is it then that thementality of some Indian men get so warped that they commit these heinous crimes?Some of these same men are also religious, and go to the temples and Gurdwaras.Perhaps, they do not have control over their anger or other negative emotions. Web MDof August 9/11 stated: “Do yourself and others around you a favor and seek help if youfeel anger is getting the best of you. Life’s just too short to live it filled with rage, not tomention dishing it out daily to the ones you love.”Many seminars and workshops have been held in BC and elsewhere concerning violenceagainst Indo-Canadian women. In December 2006 the Indo-Canadian community inWinnipeg held one such workshop. One speaker, Ruby Bedi, stated, “We need to takeresponsibility if we become aware of it. And nobody wants to take responsibility becausethey’re part of the problem,” said Rubi Bedi, who attended the talks on Sunday. “Ourelders, our priests … our churches, our temples — they are all part of the problem. We areall part of it.” (From the above internet source). On February 11, 2011, The HonourableRona Ambrose, Minister for the Status of Women stated in Edmonton, “As Canadians webelieve in a peaceful and safe society that doesn’t tolerate violence of any kind towardswomen, including culturally motivated violence,” said Minister Ambrose. “This project isone we are proud to support as young women will be educated on recognizing andpreventing these intolerable acts of violence.” (News release by the Status of WomenCanada).These violent Indo-Canadian men need to seek professional help in addressing interpersonal relationship problems with their spouses, rather than to resort to violence. Theyneed to remember who gave birth to them, and where is the love, compassion and caringfor women who brought forth life. They also need to realize that some of these wives are,or would be, mothers of their children. Indian culture teaches respect for women, butwhen incidents like these occur, one wonders where is this respect. Medical scienceknows that men and women share many anatomical and hormonal characteristics. Alongthis line Guru Kabir taught also that men must know that they are “ardhangini” or half ofthe being of women. Realizing all of these, such men need to have empathy for theirwives and other women in their lives. Violence is not a civilized human behavior, andshould be eradicated.
Dr. J. Das is the head of the Guru Kabir Association in Surrey. He can be reached at [email protected].