Ask Paarull!

Should You Get A Love Or An Arranged Marriage?

I always get a lot of questions regarding people contemplating between getting arranged  marriages compared to love marriages. Should they find someone on their own or should they let their families introduce them to someone? Should they be scared of arranged marriages? Should they avoid arranged marriages?

Well in my opinion, this is very dependent on the personalities of the people involved. It all really depends…

An Arranged marriage by definition is a type of marital union where the bride and groom are selected by a third party rather than by each other. It was common worldwide until the 18th century. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arranged_marriage

This is a very common thing in the South Asian community as many of our Grandparents and Parents wed this way.  It seemed to have worked as their divorce rate compared to the new generations divorce rate is incomparable and it was not just a little but a LOT lower.  Our elders just made it work and learnt to adjust where we are very allergic to this term ‘ADJUSTMENT.’ Sometimes an Arranged Union such as a marriage could really turn out to be a blessing in disguise as at this point you haven’t known the person for a very long time and for the first few years we spend just courting them even though we are already married! Weird concept right? Not necessarily!

Let’s look at some differences between Love and Arranged Marriages:

You are madly in love with this person You don’t know them that well
You found them yourself Someone else played Cupid
You know everything about them (well almost) You are still getting to know them…
You think He/She is your soulmate He/She may actually be your soulmate
You think there is no one else like them You saw it all and decided that this was the best option for you
You’ve known them too long and you may start wanting more space You are still okay with them as you haven’t known each other long enough to make judgements
If it doesn’t work out – you only have yourself to blame If it doesn’t work out – you have another to blame…
You know their bad traits You just found out their bad traits
If you decide to leave them – your family maybe more lenient If you decide to leave them – your family will talk you into staying with them
You are used to them and are comfortable around them You may still be awkward around them as you don’t know them well

It’s not all so bad, if you are proposed with an arranged marriage by your family then just give it a try! It could very well work out for the betterJ

Thank you everyone for all the questions I receive and for all the love that I get from you all, it is truly appreciated!


Paarull Bakshi is a marketing consultant at Brand D Media (www.branddmedia.ca). If you have a relationship question that you’d like to share then – Ask Paarull at paarullb@gmail.com! If you are looking for PR, Media Relations. Branding, Event Planning and Digital Marketing Services, Paarull can be reached at info@branddmedia.ca.

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