By Balwant Sanghera
The Indo-Canadian community in general and the Punjabis in particular have come a long way in making their mark in Canada. Our pioneers suffered a lot in order to put their roots down in this country. We owe a debt of gratitude to them as we are now enjoying the peace, security and prosperity here in Canada. As a result of the sacrifices made by our ancestors, to-day our community is in the front row in every way. Be it business, politics technology, media,sports, education, our community is at the top. It won’t be an overstatement if we call this period as the Golden Age for Punjabis in Canada. The recent boom in real estate has made a lot of people in generaland a number of Punjabis in particular very rich. Certainly, they have earned it and should rightfully be proud of their success. A vast majority of them are very humble and modest about their acquisitions/achievement. Unfortunately, a small segment ofthese freshly mintedmillionaires and multi -millionaires are flashing their wealth as their trade mark. This shows in many areas. However, overspending at some of the weddings seems to have become a concern in our community.
Over time, some of us seem to have wandered away from our basic traditions and values which are fairly simple and straight forward. For example, rituals like the wedding shower, stag party, Henna (Mehndi), Var Mala and flower girls are added expense. Similarly, bride’s brothers/cousins/friends etc. who are supposed to stand around to help the bride go around Shri Guru Granth Sahib seem to be another expense. Imagine the length and the expense they have to go through to have same kind of attire for the groom’s best man/men and party and the bride’s girlfriends/maids and flower girls etc. for such occasions. All of these expenses add up. Fortunately, in our community, there are still some very conscientious parents and youth who defy this trend and set a good example for others. Take for example, the wedding of two young people-Tejbir Singh Sodhan and Takdeer Kaur Jawanda- that took place recently. Both of them, along with Tejbir Singh’s parents, Jaspal Singh Sodhan and Gurpreet Kaur Sodhan, as well as Takdeer Kaur’s parents, Harprit Singh Jawanda and Jaswant Kaur Jawanda, must be congratulated for setting a good example for others.
Tejbir Singh and Takdeer Kaur were married on Saturday, May 26 at Khalsa Diwan Society (Sukh Sagar) Gurdwara in New Westminster in a very simple ceremony. SatvinderpalSingh Dhatt, affectionately known as Jangi, is a friend and colleague of Tejbir Singh’s father Jaspal Singh Sodhan. He was one of the invited guests at the wedding. Jangi states that the bride and the groom came to the Gurdwara with their friends and family in a very humble manner. There was no horse for the groom, no band or any other kind of fanfare. Also, there were no flower girls or anything like that.Dresses of the couple and their parents were not excessively decorated or overly elaborate.
Jangi mentioned that till the bride and the groom (after paying their respects) took their places in front of Shri Guru Granth Sahib, it was hard to identify them. None of the bride’s or groom’s relatives or friends sat beside them at the ceremony as is usually the custom. The wedding ceremony was also very simple. Their parents-devoted Sikhs –sat quietly amongst the congregation. There was no body standing around to “support” the bride as she followed the bridegroom four times around Shri Guru Granth Sahib.Both of them t recited the Laavaan with theKeertaniJatha. Incidentally, the Laavaans were recited by Tejbir Singh’s Nana ji, Sardar Sudarshan Singh Dhariwal. After the wedding ceremony was formally over, only two persons approached the couple while they were still seated in front of Shri Guru Granth Sahib. One person offered them the persaad and the other asked them to sign the legal papers.
As it happens in most of the ceremonies that usually half of the Sangat leaves the Diwan Hall by the end of the fourth Laavaan .However, in this case, the entire congregation just sat in the Darbar Hall mesmerised by the ceremony. It seemed as if all of them were one with God Almighty to bless the couple and seek the Almighty’s blessings.At the conclusion of the ceremony, bride, groom and their families went downstairs to the Langar Hall to eat langar. There was no Sagan ceremony or anything of that nature.
Our weddingsand receptions have become very costly. Tens of thousands of dollars are spent on pre wedding events, the wedding itself and finally on the receptions. However, in this case instead of a formal reception, the newly married couple, their families, friends and relativestook part in a keertan at Gurdwara Amrit Parkash in Surrey. This young couple, theirparents, friends and relatives must be commended for setting a good example for others. The lavish amount of money we spend on weddings and receptions can be best utilized for many other worthwhile causes. Let us hope that this newly married couple, their parents, friends and relatives serve as good example for others in our community.
Balwant Sanghera is a retired School Psychologist and Community Activist.
