LONDON – With an attitudinal change coming about gradually in society, more and more people are accepting that Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender/Transsexual (LGBT) are as normal as anybody. A greater awareness and acceptance has led this change.
To broaden this understanding, a Sikh mother-son duo are trying to bring about openness among the South Asian LGBT community in the UK.
They are helping parents to accept the “natural” sexual orientation of their children, shed inhibitions and move ahead in life.
A masters in human rights from University College, London, Manjinder Singh Sidhu has made several You Tube videos, a few with his mother, in various languages offering advice to the LGBTI and their family members.
Talking to TOI, Sidhu said he had discovered that he was attracted to men when he was 13. “God made me this way and I must accept it. I decided to focus on my studies, get a good job and live the life the universe has bestowed upon me.”
But it took Sidhu 14 years to come out and tell his family about his sexual orientation.
“I was 25, living in Israel, working for the United Nations and severely depressed as I had to hide this truth from them. One day I just texted them that I was a gay. Surprisingly, their reaction was very positive. They were relieved that their son was finally communicating with them and still loved them. This brought out my activism and I began to work to lift the `purdah’ (veil) off LGBT topics in our community,” he said.
He started off with talks on radio and television, and then began to shoot videos on the topic.
“I was approached by a lesbian from London with a request to shoot a video with my mother so that she could educate her mother on LGBTs. Initially, the video was meant to be for private use, but my mother gave the nod for making it public because of its immense potential to make a positive impact. “We had no idea that it would go viral,” he said.
In one of the videos, Sidhu’s mother Swaran Kaur explains the connotation of homosexuality for parents and answers her son’s questions. Sidhu asks his mother, “What advice can you give to the parents whose child tells them he she is gay,” and she calmly and candidly replies, “You should accept it and not tell them to change”. He said, currently, only he and his family support the LGBTI South Asians collectively and in their language.
“Of course, it will be better if all parents of LGBTs make videos without fear of shame on social media and air their support.”
Sidhu explained, “Sikhism, very much like most native Indian religions, is mute on the topic of sexuality in general. Religions talk about spiritual enlightenment but the soul is deemed gender-less. We are spiritual beings having a human experience. Sikhism preaches about living a good life and having children, which, in this day and age, can be done in countless ways. Of course heterosexual couples who cannot procreate are not excommunicated from the religion so why would LGBT people be marginalised?” He said that being a very spiritual person, having a yoga teacher’s certificate and being a regular meditator, he provides life coaching and spiritual counselling. Sidhu says he is in a relationship and his partner regularly appears in videos with him.
Sidhu said he had also authored a self-help book, and planned to write more. “Being a human rights activist and having worked in this sphere for nearly a decade I am keen to bring rights to the forefront of marginalised individuals in creative ways. I speak at events and conferences, educate, train and raise awareness. My mother and father help other South Asian parents to come to terms with their LGBTI child. They speak to them over the phone, Skype or face-to-face,” he said.
To come to India
Manjinder Singh Sidhu said he would be conducting workshops all over India, including Chandigarh and Ludhiana. “South Asians all over, who are suffering, in guilt or are ashamed or fearful, I will try to raise their hopes and spearhead them to living their authentic life with all the tools necessary to deal with parents and society”.
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