Dear Editor,
I am fortunate to have Kayden in my life. He is like a son to me and I am very happy he is in my life and I am very proud of him.
Recently, my counsellor asked me if I ever thought of having my own “biological” children? He asked me as a gay man is that not something you desire? He stated isn’t having your “own” children part of your legacy that is carried onto the next generation and into the future?
I reflected on these questions for a few days. I don’t really want to get in a huge debate on the pros and cons of population control or parenting or evolution or even genetics, etc. Ancestry.com has basically proven that the entire human race is related one way or another if you go back far enough.
I just wanted to share my personal “spiritual philosophy” on these questions.
- I believe that when you die, your physical body essentially turns to ash and mixes with the Earth. Most people will agree with this.
- I further believe, however, that your spirit lives forever. Your spirit never dies. Your spirit returns to the Creator, or is reincarnated into another body, or enters the spiritual world. I am open to all possible explanations, however, I am convinced that there is a spiritual world and that all living things have a spirit within them and that we are all connected as part of this “infinite” spiritual universe. We already know that the entire Earth is basically just a spec of sand in our physical universe. We really are insignificant in my view, although we like to think we are everything.
- I feel your legacy is then not having children and reproducing in a physical form. Well, at-least not for me. I can understand why for some people it’s important to have their own family and I feel it can be rewarding and beneficial.
- Nonetheless, I feel your legacy is what lives on in the memories of the people you leave behind. Your legacy is the good things you do for people and the world. Your legacy is trying to make a difference to the best of your ability.
- Since I believe in a Creator, my ultimate goal is to re-connect with the Creator. Whether you have children or not is not the end goal for me. The Creator already has billions of children and I believe we are all connected. It was, therefore, an easy decision for me to consider Kayden like my “own” son because I feel essentially we are all God’s children at a spiritual level.
- Imagine if everyone thought this way. Imagine if everyone treated all the world’s children like their own children.
I have come from a broken family and was raised largely by a single mother. I have seen and experienced the suffering this has caused. I feel people should only have children if they can raise them in a loving family. A child is not something you throw away. A child is a precious gift from God. You need two people to produce a child and two people should be equally involved in raising a child with the support from the extended family and a nurturing community.
Happy New Year and Best Wishes for 2020!
Alex Sangha
Delta, BC
