Dear Editor,
Dr. Bikkar Singh Lalli’s article in December 30th issue on “Provide Opportunities For Your Children To Make Decisions” was interesting and useful. Every parent should read it. It provides basic guidelines for parents to help their children to become successful and mature citizens. Dr. Lalli has felt that the parents are lacking in this respect and there is an urgent need to give children better opportunities. I agree fully with him. In fact, I wish, I can take his call even further with no intention to hurt the feelings of any individual, religion, culture or caste.
We are not giving our children the freedom to choose. Whatever freedoms they have at home or in school here are given to them by Law. Otherwise, most of the children will get few slaps every day because a majority of us believe in ‘spare the rod and spoil the child’. Our so-called ancient wisdom of “mould the child before he gets out of shape” still operates in the society. We want them to learn subjects/languages of our choice without knowing their natural inclination. We try our best to make them believe in things which we are believing for centuries without knowing their logic and utility in life. We want that children should look to parents in deciding everything. Sometimes, even the school advice is ignored by parents. They are not free to ask questions. The answers they get in their childhood are found incorrect and dubious in later life. Thus, they lose confidence in their parents. Not all, but in many households, the atmosphere is violent and deceitful which is not conducive to the proper growth and understanding of the child. The atmosphere in the household becomes incompatible with the result that children leave the company of parents as soon as possible.
The Parents want their children to be their shadows forever. What to talk of small children, even the grown-up children (adults of marriageable age) do not have the freedom to choose their friends and life partners. Parents and relatives thrust their decision. Believing in some other faith than that of the parents’ is a remote possibility. We very much talk about ‘multiculturalism’ and hold inter-faith meetings. Let us hope for that type of multiculturalism and multi-faith when each member of the household will accept and encourage another member’s decision in cultural and religious matters. Let the family be multi-faith, multi-caste and multicultural. This will be the foundation of “Highway to Heaven !” Let the youngsters take decisions which they think are better for them. If it is a wrong decision; they will learn.
Unfortunately, there have been cases when the children were murdered on taking independent and humane decisions.
Dr. Lalli’s efforts are worth taking note of.
Zile Singh
Ambassador(Retd.)
