By Dr. Suresh Kurl
Cultures are complex and packed with contradictions, and generally beyond reproach. If I question the judgement of Lord Rama, the Lord of morality personified (maryada-purushotam), I know my community will boycott me. If my parents were alive they would stop talking to me. And if I were to be born again chances are I might return as a frog — “guru-pitu nindak daadur hoi.” Those, who reproach their spiritual mentor or their father are reborn as a frog; that is what they say.
How can I forget what I read about the sin Sanskrit poet Kalidasa (400 A.D.) committed and paid for it, when he wrote about the intimate life of Lord Shiva and his consort Parvati in the epic the Birth of Kumar (Kumarsambhavam). The folktale is that the poet died of leprosy. Salman Rushdie kept himself hidden in rat holes for writing Satanic Verses. Imagine what could happen to me if I reproached the God or any of His incarnations? The cover of my karmic case file would be stamped, “No Moksha. Not even Heaven; only Hell.”
However, I cannot help it when my conscience revolts. “How could a culture that groomed my young mind to equate family homes with the abode of gods, where women are venerated, “yatra naryastu poojayantey ramante tatra devata” (Manusmriti 3-56″), allow to breed repression and injustice against them?
Islam, though not as old as Hinduism, has a similar saying about the dignity of women. “Be at your mother’s feet and there is the Paradise;” (Ibn Majah, Sunan Hadith 2771). Then, I wonder why does it allow burying unwanted baby girls alive? “Burial alive of unwanted infant daughters was practiced not only in Mecca but throughout Arabia.” (Surah 6:137; pg 287; Mankind’s Search for GOD). Or how could husbands get rid of their wives by pronouncing “talaaq, talaaq, talaaq” and converting their paradise into a living hell; at least for them?
My conscience has stains on it; stains of goddess Sita’s (Ramayana; 400 B.C.); queen Draupadi’s (Mahabharata; 200 B.C.) and Princess Mira’s (15th century A.D.) sufferings. Sita, the daughter of the goddess Earth, was found, abandoned in an agricultural field by King Janaka. She grew up as a princess in his family and married Rama, the son of Dhashratha.
In a palace-coup, schemed by Rama’s second step mother, Rama, his younger brother Lakshmana and Sita ended up being exiled for fourteen years. That was just the beginning of Sita’s troubles. There, while living in a forest, a demon named Ravana kidnapped her and kept her imprisoned in his palace gardens until Rama rescued her. However, before Rama allowed her to join him, she had to prove her chastity by going through a fire ordeal or Rama could not accept her. Sita passed the test. She came out of the flames alive.
As incarnations — Rama of Lord Vishnu and Sita of goddess Lakshmi — knew who they were, and what they had incarnated to do. Rama knew Sita would come out of those flames without harm, but the ordinary subjects did not. Therefore, in my view, Rama set a very dangerous example for the people he was going to govern. They could have started demanding their spouses to go through Rama’s chastity test? Could their spouses have come out alive? Hell, no, never.
After completing the fourteen years of their banishment, Rama, Sita and Lakshmana returned to Ayoddhya, to their home and Rama took over the responsibilities of governing his father’s kingdom. His subjects were happy, listened to and cared for. But as always, there were some self-righteous and judgemental individuals living among them.
One day, a spy brought Rama a sad news about a woman, who had killed herself.
Why? Rama asked.
“…because her husband had kicked her out of their home.
“Why? Rama questioned.
“…because she had spent a night out of her home without her husband’s permission,” he reported adding that her husband was also heard saying that he was no Rama, who accepted Sita, who had spent so many nights in Ravana’s palace garden. Other citizens seemed to express the same opinion.”
Rama could not believe his ears. He felt compelled to verify the public opinion. I wish he had called the husband first and investigated the reasons contributing to stay out of her home. He did not. Instead, he disguised himself and visited some public places, and finding the public opinion to be true, he returned and asked his younger brother to drive and abandon Sita in the wilderness. His brother left his pregnant and defenceless sister-in-law in the forest. Here again, I see Rama failing to keep his promise he must have given, in front of the holy fire, to Sita at their wedding ceremony, that he would protect her; always.
Back to the forest, a holy Sage Valmiki living in that forest adopted Sita and raised and educated her twin boys. When they grew older, Valmiki attempted to introduce them to their father, but Rama refused to accept them as his sons. He asked the Sage to give proof of him being the father of those boys, or their mother go through the fire ordeal in front of the citizens of his kingdom as proof of her chastity. Only then he would accept the boys as his sons.
Rama’s demands not only injured the dignity of the Sage, but the honour of Sita as well, once again. She invoked her mother to rescue her from her on going humiliation. The earth cracked open and Sita vanished leaving her children behind.
We find both mythological (Kauravas and Queen Draupadi, in the Mahabharata, Gautama Rishi, his wife Ahilya and Indra) and historical (Alaudddeen Khilji and Padmavati and many more) references of male members riding the rights of women frequently.
We have been undermining the dignity and importance of women in society for generations. Even before the impregnation ceremony (garbhadan samskar) takes place, new brides are blessed with “May you be the mother of sons;” (putra-vati bhava). In the internationally acclaimed epic the Mahabharata, Bhishm Pitamaha blesses queen Gandhari with, “May you birth one hundred sons;” (shat putra-vati bhava). There are references in ancient scriptures of performing fire sacrifices — putreshthi-yagyas for sons, though I have never heard of any one blessing a newly wed to have daughters.
Sons out rank daughters in Indian culture, always. They outrank because sons are deemed as insurance for Moksha; saviours from hell. The Sanskrit word “putra” (put = hell + tra = saviour) one who saves his parents and ancestors from going to hell. Parents could only be saved from hell if their sons perform a ceremony by making offerings for the departed souls of their ancestors. But what about parents’ and their ancestors’ own karma? Does their karma have no role in obtaining them freedom from the cycle of births and deaths?
Hindus do not have a monopoly over gender discrimination. Digambara Jain holy men, who live thread naked, a sign of their renunciation, believe that women can never achieve Moksha. How so? Because, they think, women are easy to succumb to seductions. Jewish men thank God for not making them women “shelo asani ishah” in the traditional morning prayers. The Fundamentalist Christians claim “The Husband Is the Head of the Household.” These three examples spell religions that foster such arrogance seem bankrupt of spirituality.
Allah does not dispatch ready-made mothers to the earth. He sends them in the form of teeny tiny baby girls. Those, who love Allah the Merciful, raise them with His love and nurse them to become mothers. Paradise is at the feet of those teeny tiny baby girls. They need our protection from Sex Selective Abortions, Sexual and Acid Assaults and Honour Killings.
Dr. Suresh Kurl is a former university professor; a retired Registrar of the BC Benefits Appeal Board, a former Member of the National Parole Board, a writer and a Public Speaker.
