By Balwant Sanghera
The tragic death of Manraj Akalirai has sent shock waves throughout the entire South Asian community. Whatever the circumstances or the reasons, such a crime is abhorrent and must be condemned. Our heartfelt sympathies are with the Akalirai family. A budding young life has been snuffed out. Manraj is reported to be a popular, bright, hardworking young man who was attending college to better himself. This tragedy has again brought the issue of youth violence to the forefront.
Youth violence has been a major concern for the South Asian community. For the past several years, various community organizations as well as the South Asian media have been working very hard in preventing our youth from getting into trouble. Naturally, any incidents of violence cause a lot of concern to every law-abiding citizen. Any act of violence severely impacts not only the South Asian community but also the community at large. Even one life lost is one too many.
South Asian Community Coalition Against Youth Violence (SACCAYV) is one of several organizations that have been actively engaged in keeping our young people on the right track. Along with various other organizations and the South Asian media, this organization has been focusing on our youth. In this regard, SACCAYV has produced a number of resource materials which are available free of charge. These include a booklet entitled: Understanding Youth and Gangs. It is in English and Punjabi. This booklet is the result of a collaborative effort between various police forces, individuals, agencies and the provincial government. Parents, youth and others interested getting a copy of this booklet should feel free to contact me at 604-836-8976 or e-mail me the request at: [email protected].
Whether it is prevention, intervention or enforcement, to its credit, the South Asian community has always been in the forefront. It is a challenge for all of us. Nevertheless, we need to continue to work hard in helping our young people and in keeping our communities safe.
It is rather unfortunate that lately, some of the young people in their late teens are reported to be drawn into certain undesirable activities. This indeed is very worrisome. It calls for even greater efforts by our community to keep such vulnerable youth from joining the wrong crowd. The best way to do this is through education, awareness and prevention.
Prevention must start at a very early age. The sooner the better. As parents and caregivers, we must make every effort in staying connected with our children. We need to empower them by keeping them safe and well informed. Boosting their self-esteem is bound to go a long way in making our children productive and valuable members of society.
There is no doubt that adolescence is a very challenging phase in a child’s life. However, by following some very simple rules we can have good relationship with them. First and foremost, we need to earn our children’s respect rather than demanding it. This can be best accomplished by showing them respect. It works both ways. In order to get respect you have to show respect.
Second, we must become not only good listeners but also reflective listeners. Always pay full attention to your child when he/she is trying to say something to you. Hear them out without being judgmental. Listening is a great skill and an excellent asset. Also, keeping an open mind is very helpful in this regard. Rather than prejudging we should be open and give our children an opportunity to say their piece. Give the youth every opportunity to freely express him/her without any fear or hesitation.
Third, we should always keep our cool. A peaceful mind generates power. By staying calm even under very stressful situations, we are being good role models for our children. Have a sense of humor. Humor works wonders even in some of the most difficult circumstances. It helps in diffusing potentially explosive situations. Finally, be an active participant in your child’s life. Whether it is their school, sports or other activities, be there to support them. Stay connected. Let them know that you love them and are there for them at all times.
Our children are our greatest resource and asset. Consequently, we must make every effort in helping them become proud members of our community and the society as a whole.
Balwant Sanghera is a Community Activist and Retired School Psychologist. He is also the chairperson of the South Asian Community Coalition Against Youth Violence.
